Worries of a mother

It's hard to be a mother and not worry. Some worry is normal and good. Without worry we wouldn't try to improve and grow as a mother. However, it seems like a mother today has too much to worry about and we never do anything right.

It starts as soon as we see that plus sign on the stick. What if we don't eat right, read the right books, take the lamaze class, register for the right equipment, take the right vitamins, get enough exercise, get to all of our appointments, get enough sleep, etc, etc. And if we don't do everything right we feel like we've screwed up right from the beginning.

Then time to deliver. Natural or drugs, midwife or doctor. Vaginal, c-section, water birth, hospital, home... What is the right way?!

Then you have an infant. If you don't breastfeed them have you screwed them up for life, dooming them to a life of illness and obesity? Should you let them cry it out to sleep to learn independence? Co-sleeping (will you make them too dependent), pacifiers (will they suck on them for life?), thumb sucking (are they going to have crooked teeth forever? Looming orthodontia bills!). Is your carseat installed correctly? Have to see a fireman to make sure, cause we can't do it ourselves! Disposables vs. cloth. Will I ruin the environment single handedly with all my kids' diapers?

Starting solid food. If I start too early will it lead to obesity the rest of their lives? What should Istart with? What if they won't eat veggies? What foods are they not supposed to eat? There's too many to remember! Will starting with fruit rather than veggies really make them like sweets more, dooming them to always hate veggies?

Toddlerhood: Are they walking too late? Are they talking too late? Are they eating enough fruits and veggies? Are they eating too many sweets? Do I brush their teeth enough? Too much juice? Enough exercise? Am I reading to them enough? How do they compare to other children? Playing enough? Am I handling discipling correctly? Will they grow up to be hoodlums because I failed at discipline?

aaaaagggghhhhhhh! It's enough to drive a person insane! How are we supposed to do everything in a single day that we are supposed to be doing? Homecooked meals (heaven forbid we feed our children processed or restaurant food), exercise (us and them), breastfeeding, reading, playing, appointments, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, bill paying, yard work, work, sleep, eat, baths, showers, clipping coupons, birthday parties, playdates, church, diaper changing, potty training, relaxing. But really, when do we have time for the last one? hobbies (Waht are those again?) date night (an endangered species)

There is just not enough time in the day to do everything. And it feels like we are attacked on all sides. We hear about how we are failing from dentist, doctors, magazines, internet, friends, family. Nothing we do is good enough, and there is always something we could be doing better, or doing something we shouldn't be doing, or something we're not doing that we should.

Good luck to all moms out there!

Echo and Mommy's little helper

Today Iliana had her echo to check on how she's doing. And everything looks good! Blood flow through the aorta is good,VSD is small, bicuspid valve is not leaky, and I was told that the vein leading from the brain to the heart is usually on the right, but hers is on the left! Who knew so many things could be different but still be ok. So we'll just keep watching with routine echo checkups. She was so cute during her appointment. She started licking the tech and the doppler wand with her super long tongue. She has no desire to move at all. She sometimes rolls over from front to back, but has never rolled over from back to front. But for the most part when I put her on her tummy she just lays there, but she doesn't scream at the floor at much as she used to. We got an exersaucer from my friend, and she really likes to play with the toys on it. Oliver likes to play in it too.

Oliver, in between ornery spells, has become such a good helper. On Saturday I wanted to do something with him to see how grown up he is, so we decided to try to make chex muddy buddies with him. Easy to make, and I gave him his own bowl and spoon to mix the cereal with chocolate and peanut butter. He didn't really get the hang of mixing it together, and really just wound up crushing it with his spoon. Then it was time to shake it up with powdered sugar in a bag. I thought he might just crush it some more, but he shook it up pretty well. The other day he saw that Iliana had spit up before I caught it, and by the time I noticed and got a towel, he had already gotten a towel and started to clean her up! I love my little man.

Solid food and terrible twos

In an attempt to stave off having to buy formula, we decided to try Iliana on solid foods on Sunday. We have had two attempts and they have not been successful. She wants to try but can't figure out how to swallow the food yet. Oliver likes to watch her eat, and then he thinks he wants some too, so I let him try rice cereal and he just made yucky faces. But he loves to feed it to his baby sister! It's his new favorite thing to do. So I think we're going to stop and try again in a few weeks. I have no problems using formula except the cost, and frankly I am tired of breastfeeding. I know all the benefits of it, and it's great for her and me, but oh, my, gosh, it hurts so much! This girls has the strongest suck ever! But I will keep breastfeeding to keep Iliana from getting sick, and to spare us the expense of formula.

Oliver has very much started his terrible twos even though he's only a year and a half. His favorite words right now are "mine" and "no". Oh my goodness some days are so hard! Sometimes I think to myself, I don't even like him. And then he does something so cute, or has a really good day to make up for the bad ones. Today is one of those good days. We went to the doctor's this morning for Iliana to get a syneges (sp?) shot, and then straight to a birthday party for a little boy in our ward, and he hasn't given me hardly any trouble. Then we came home he ate the rest of his breakfast, some lunch, and then played quietly while I started dinner, and did the dishes. It's heavenly when he behaves this way. On top of that, Iliana is taking a long nap. Life is good. He certainly can throw a tantrum though. Church has become a time when we try to teach him how to not jump on the bench instead of listening to the talks.