It's hard to be a mother and not worry. Some worry is normal and good. Without worry we wouldn't try to improve and grow as a mother. However, it seems like a mother today has too much to worry about and we never do anything right.
It starts as soon as we see that plus sign on the stick. What if we don't eat right, read the right books, take the lamaze class, register for the right equipment, take the right vitamins, get enough exercise, get to all of our appointments, get enough sleep, etc, etc. And if we don't do everything right we feel like we've screwed up right from the beginning.
Then time to deliver. Natural or drugs, midwife or doctor. Vaginal, c-section, water birth, hospital, home... What is the right way?!
Then you have an infant. If you don't breastfeed them have you screwed them up for life, dooming them to a life of illness and obesity? Should you let them cry it out to sleep to learn independence? Co-sleeping (will you make them too dependent), pacifiers (will they suck on them for life?), thumb sucking (are they going to have crooked teeth forever? Looming orthodontia bills!). Is your carseat installed correctly? Have to see a fireman to make sure, cause we can't do it ourselves! Disposables vs. cloth. Will I ruin the environment single handedly with all my kids' diapers?
Starting solid food. If I start too early will it lead to obesity the rest of their lives? What should Istart with? What if they won't eat veggies? What foods are they not supposed to eat? There's too many to remember! Will starting with fruit rather than veggies really make them like sweets more, dooming them to always hate veggies?
Toddlerhood: Are they walking too late? Are they talking too late? Are they eating enough fruits and veggies? Are they eating too many sweets? Do I brush their teeth enough? Too much juice? Enough exercise? Am I reading to them enough? How do they compare to other children? Playing enough? Am I handling discipling correctly? Will they grow up to be hoodlums because I failed at discipline?
aaaaagggghhhhhhh! It's enough to drive a person insane! How are we supposed to do everything in a single day that we are supposed to be doing? Homecooked meals (heaven forbid we feed our children processed or restaurant food), exercise (us and them), breastfeeding, reading, playing, appointments, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, bill paying, yard work, work, sleep, eat, baths, showers, clipping coupons, birthday parties, playdates, church, diaper changing, potty training, relaxing. But really, when do we have time for the last one? hobbies (Waht are those again?) date night (an endangered species)
There is just not enough time in the day to do everything. And it feels like we are attacked on all sides. We hear about how we are failing from dentist, doctors, magazines, internet, friends, family. Nothing we do is good enough, and there is always something we could be doing better, or doing something we shouldn't be doing, or something we're not doing that we should.
Good luck to all moms out there!
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18 hours ago
Well written. I'm pretty sure your kids are going to be hoodlums. :) It is SO much to figure out. I always worry about how something that starts so young is going impact their future. It's crazy.
ReplyDeleteI think its easiest when you stick to the basics or decide to pick your battles- you can't possibly think about everything!
ReplyDeleteOf course, having two under two is a little insane (but you knew that)and will probably keep you from those hobbies and date-nights for a while!
Mary-
ReplyDeleteYou might want to look at this post from baby rabies. It's all about how we panic over babies!
http://alphamom.com/your-life/lets-panic-about-babies/